If I fail... Am I a Failure?

With exams on the horizon and revision in full swing, it’s easy to start questioning your own ability. I would be lying if I said that this Uni lark is a breeze. It is a different kind of difficult.

At the moment I seem to be struggling on a subject that I consider my main skill, maths, or methodology if you’re an engineer (I don‘t know either). I can do half the question but when I check my answers, there mostly wrong. I have faith enough in myself that I can overcome this, but after spending hours trying to figure out the answer, it gets very depressing.

During the 1^st set of university exams I felt that for some subjects, they required a different type of revision. Unfortunately I didn’t really get round to an alternative so I kept myself pretty much locked in my room until the exams. I entered every exam with trepidation. I found half of the exams alright, but the other half… they unnerved me. They left me with an anxious and overly long wait to find out how I had performed. I knew I was relying on prior knowledge for those exams, not due to a lack of effort; it’s just that not all the concepts clicked. I think that’s partly down to me but also the lecturers who can often explain things in ways they understand but your average student can’t.

Anyway, they day came when I collected my results. I knew it would be touch and go as to whether I had passed and I didn’t want to have to admit to my friends and family that I failed. I have to much pride in myself for such things which is why I take failing quite seriously. I looked down at the page.

I had passed all of my exams, and with room to spare. I had attained solid results which although can be improved, left me feeling that maybe I could just pull the university thing off.

I think a lot of how we succeed in life, not just exams, is down to your mental attitude and mindset. Fear of failure is a good thing when matched with a will to succeed, but alone it can have a serious effect on confidence and as such, ability.

I was lucky that I had passed all my exams after worrying about them. It meant that now, as I prepare for round two, I have the confidence in myself to accept that it’s going to be difficult. But with perseverance and a cool head, succeeding is very much a possibility.