A not so lovely days shopping



Oozing Class

I checked my fridge this morning and shock horror, there was nothing in. So I whipped out my wallet and bounced on down to the “Salford shopping city.”

I have a have a problem with the name having now experience the Salford shopping city. Yes, it’s in Salford. Yes, there are a few shops. BUT NO WAY is it a city! It’s got a Tesco metro an Iceland and a few pound shops, that’s not even enough to be a shopping centre, let alone a shopping “city”

yeh but, no but
chicken nuggets

Looking past the obvious naming error, I started my search for food in Iceland. I quickly became aware of some disturbing things. The first thing I noticed was how fat everybody was. Not only were they fat, but they were all very immobile. This made it difficult to traverse the narrow Iceland isles. It was almost reminiscent of playing asteroids, in fact a better analogy would be Mario galaxy, the only way to get around was to walk along the planet like Icelanders… The second thing I noticed was the general dress sense of the average Iceland customer, shell suits all round, except it wasn’t, unfortunately. In what world does a 50 something year old woman wake up, look in the mirror (to which she must stand considerably far back In order to see herself fully) and think “I‘ll wear this sexy little number.” this made me realise how difficult it is to shop for food when you’ve lost your appetite. I quickly bought what I had and left without a moment’s hesitation.

Salford shopping citys tesco

I resumed my shopping at Tesco. There was certainly a higher class of customer. I believe this is because the opening isles are fruit and veg, something alien to those in Iceland. I noticed that Ben and jerry’s ice cream was on offer, half price. I know I shouldn’t but I did, I bought one... Pish food variety of course, no other comes close. My basket soon filled and that was sign enough to stop there.

I paid up and had off. Operation buy food, complete.